Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 

Which, scientifically speaking, means that if you were to take a fairly inactive blog (such as this one), abandon it to its dust-ridden URL, and never upload the webpage...it's equally possible that the blog is (at the same time) both 100% dead and 100% updated & active.

For the past two weeks, this little bit of nowhere has been rather inactive to the point of bordering on a flatline. I can't say I'm too surprised, in all honesty. My excuses and reasons for there being an inherent lack of whimsical silliness will range from the usual "exhaustion from work" to "doing a lot of running around", to the not-so-usual "I'm still trying to purge the image of that man peeing into traffic."

Yeah, I did a double-take too.

It all began last night as Mel & I were gunning for some gas, which hit the depressingly low total of 97 cents yesterday. But hey, that's the best & lowest it's been here all week, and we were running on fumes. As we're driving down one of the main suburban roads towards the gas station, I noticed a rather peculiar sight. A van was parked along the side of the road, and a man had unzipped his pants and was openly displaying its contents.

Now I'm always one to try and give benefit of a doubt, but I had...shall we say "issues" with his peeing technique. Mostly the part where he was standing on the driver's side, on the road, and facing out to incoming traffic. I may not be an expert on the matter, per say. I don't have a Masters or PhD in Peeology (because let's face it: Tinkleology sound ridiculous). But isn't the whole concept of urinating in public based on stealth and discretion?

If so, flagging drivers down with your not-exactly-the-most-flattering-sized wang seems just plain contradictory. Which brings us to the closing remarks of the conversation that ensued after glimsping more than our fair share of Mr. Marking The Road. I must say it's the first time I've ever been forced to remark: "You know, I never thought I'd be calling a mini-van 'over-compensation' for having a small penis."

(Frankly, I'm amazed no one crashed their cars once they realized what they were seeing as they passed him by and reeled in shock.)

Many of you are probably making faces now over the excessive mention of male genitalia. But hey, it could have been worse: I could have been talking about mine. And here's where I hastily duck the incoming pitchforks, flying vegetables and large inanimate objects once fastened securely to the floor or walls.

But what about the rest of the world as I know it, you ask? What other contributions do I have to offer this little bit of nowhere? (Which would still have been simultaneously 100% dead and 100% active, if you hadn't clicked on the webpage to see if it's been updated.)

Well, for starters I haven't been doing a lot of writing. In fact, if everything I've written in the last couple of weeks totals more than 5 pages, I'll be downright surprised & impressed. And to be honest, I'm of two opinions on the whole matter. On the one hand, I loathe the feeling of atrophy (and/or apathy) I have towards writing. The spirit is still half-willing at this point. And yet, I think I've almost managed to burn myself out. Again.

The other half of me is enjoying the break and still more than content to leave any and all writing alone. For months upon months, I've fought what has felt like an uphill battle with my "Angel Electric" fic. More than anything because those months upon months have been spent attempting to get from Point A (which I finished a while back) to Point C (the last major arc in the story).

In the middle has stood the treacherous Point B, which I've long suspected has stood for "Bitch of an effort." The short of it is: Point B was meant to bridge the two major arcs, and especially help set up a lot of things that would occur around Point C. I expected Point B to last only 2 chapters at most, with maybe 30 pages each.

For the last half a year, if not moreso, I have fought, begged, bit and sacrificed to dark gods in an attempt to finish Point B. In the end, Point B earned itself the following numbers:

6: months it took to finally end the Point B arc, and reach the last hurdle
5: chapters the allegedly "short" arc wound up having
43: average length of each chapter in this arc
8: total revisions on the entire arc
47: pages of scenes that were either shortened or deleted from the fic
1.5: years I've spent working on this entire fic (either wholly or off-and-on)
0: desire I have to see the end completed as soon as possible

As you've probably guessed with that last figure, despite the end being so near, I'm trying to recouperate and regain some of my writing drive. I think that after having fought for so long just to reach Point C, my brain is interpreting this as "the end" as opposed to "the end of the second act". I'm being told to take a vacation and relax, which is more or less what I've been doing.

But I've ranted enough about that. I'm impressed I've written as much as I have for today's little bit of nowhere. Which is perhaps just as well: who knows how long it'll be before I have the energy and desire to post on a daily basis again. But before I leave you to contemplate more of Schroedinger's Blog, here is...

Today's Lesson: if you're going to pee outside your vehicle, for the love of God, turn towards the door and put your back to traffic!
posted by Phillip at 8:35 AM